Thursday, January 13, 2011

This Must Be What Labor Feels Like!


Have any of you ever thrown your back out? I mean really thrown it out? Well, let me tell you, it ain't no picnic, sister! Let me paint a picture for those of you who've never felt this particular pain. Think of the pointiest metal thing you can imagine...spear, javelin, fireplace poker, whatever. Now imagine live jumper cables attached to said pointy metal object. Finally, imagine jabbing it into your left (or right) butt cheek with all the force you can muster. Now you're starting to get it.

It happened Sunday at a friend's house. I was minding my own business and went to go sit on her couch (yes, I threw my back out by sitting. You can stop sniggering now) and BAM! Or rather it was more like a 'poof'. I didn't realize her couch was as low as it was and kinda fell onto it. Didn't think anything of it at the time but about a half hour later I felt the first twinge, more discomfort than pain really. Still didn't think anything of it. The next morning I was sore, eh...no big deal. Then by Monday evening I was in real pain. Tuesday...forget about it! I couldn't even get out of bed. So I languished. At least until 1:30 or 2 in the afternoon when I just got plain tired of being laid up in bed. I thought to myself, "Self, suck it up! It can't be that bad." In the history of me being wrong, this was the wrongest! I got out of bed (it took at least 5 minutes to just get my bum off the darn bed) gathered my phone, robe and book, figured out a way to get Bubby off the bed without bending over or dropping him (he's too scared to jump down by himself, of course) and headed into the living room.

I have this awesome, comfy wingback chair and a little ottoman that I like to sit in so I headed to it. I gingerly eased my (ahem) bulk onto the chair and instantly felt the electric spear from hell. I must tell you at this point that I normally like to think of myself as having a high threshold for pain but, really, I shamed myself and totally screamed (and cried a little - ok, a lot). I tried to lean onto my right but it didn't help. So I ended up rolling off the chair onto the floor on my hands and knees with my little ottoman under my torso.

That's when I thought it, "This must be what labor feels like" if you were to give birth out of your left butt cheek. My next and most embarrassing thought was, "Dear God, I've fallen and I can't get up!" Which, of course made me laugh (more pain) then finally I flashed onto the episode of Sex and the City where Miranda, fresh out of the shower throws her back (or neck, I can't remember) out and is laying face down butt naked on the floor. She, of course, calls Carrie who sends over her beau, Aiden to help, not knowing that Miranda is naked. And hilarity ensues.

Well, there I was pulling a Miranda on my living room floor. Only two things were different 1) I, thank God, was fully clothed and b) I have about 1000 pounds on her. There was no way I was calling anybody to help me up off my own floor. So, I set my jaw, pulled my feet up under me and got up with, miracle of all miracles, barely any pain. At least until I got fully upright and tried to walk away.

Now, I've been in bed the last two days and am on the mend. Ibuprofen has helped immensely!

So, the moral? If/when you throw your back out you'll get all kinds of people telling you that bed rest is the best thing for it. Listen to them cuz THEY AIN'T LYING!!!


P.S. Before you ask, yes, everything, every situation in life reminds me of a movie or tv show I've seen. It's an annoying but usually amusing habit that I usually try and keep to myself.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

A New Year, New Directions?



Notice the "?" after the title of this post. It basically sums up my state of mind so far this year (all four days of it). I'm facing a financial dilemma. After being laid off last May, no employers have shown much interest in me (not so good for my ego!) and my savings is completely gone. Yesterday, I got my last check from unemployment for the 2010 year with a letter stating basically that's that. They're gonna let me know by snail mail if I qualify for an extension which, I must say, is proving to be a test of my patience and sanity. I don't like the not knowing. I also don't like that I don't have a single job prospect lined up. I'm diligently sending out the resume and applying but so far, nada.


Soooo, until I get something (and I mean anything really), I'm working on an assembly line of sorts for stuff for the shop. There are a few things that really only take me a few minutes to make, if I have all the supplies. So I'm churning them out, or trying to anyway, as fast as I can. There are other things (like baby blankets and such) that take a bit longer to make and I don't usually have all the supplies on hand so those will have to wait. What I'd really love, and I mean LOVE, is for the crafting to become at least a semi-full time gig. I've had some requests for things from friends and lots of "ooh, you made that, I'd buy it!" from others, so that's encouraging.


My worry is inconsistency. Not mine (though that can be an issue at times, to tell you the truth) but with people buying my stuff. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to try out some local street fairs and farmer's/craft markets to see what's selling and what isn't. And it seems like a good way to get some instant feedback. (If any of you regular market sellers out there have any advice, I'm all ears!)


So that's my new direction for 2011. Do what I love, love what I do. And probably get a part-time job to supplement the income. I think life is too short to be stuck in a job that just sucks the life and energy out of you. I learned this the hard way. I wish someone had pulled me aside when I was 25 and told me the type of work I'm ideally suited to. Which I do know now, at 37, and am very grateful that it didn't take me til 47 or 57 to learn.