Uhhhhh....

Ok, mark this day in your calendars. This rarely happens but once in a while it does and today is the day. I have nothing to say. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Have a good day.

My little gremlin

This is why I don't get things done. The Bubbers refuses to let me work, he is very demanding for such a small dog. If I worked from home I'd be a total pauper (well, more than I am now anyway). He gets very insecure sometimes and all of a sudden and out of the blue he'll pop up from his little doggie bed and climb into my lap needing some luvin. Don't get me wrong, it's adorable and endearing but, boy, is it annoying. Not that I do anything about it cuz how could you chide such a lovable creature? Anyway, here's a pic of him in my lap as I'm working on my blog and playing free cell. Try not to look too closely cuz my bedroom was a complete mess when this pic was taken.

OOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!

I bitch and moan a lot about the population overload here in SoCal but this is why I love living here....

You end the day like this:

And start the next one like this:

How do you eat your Peeps?

I love Peeps!! Fluffy little pillows of pleasure. I would eat pack after pack if my strong as aluminum foil will power wasn't firmly in place. I just eat one pack...one of the large packs. I was at the store today and bought myself some lovely purple bunny Peeps...yum...and it got me a-thinkin'...how do other people eat their peeps? I tend to eat from the top to the bottom. If it's a chick I just chomp off the head but if it's a bunny I carefully eat the ears then the head then the bottom (as illustrated in the photos). So how do you eat your Peeps? Leave a comment and let me know.

1. 2.

3.

Just a note about little poopaws...My dog sleeps with one eye open. It doesn't happen all the time but it happens often enough to really freak me out. Sometimes, when in the grip of one of his doggy dreams, his eye will roll back showing the whites, like in the picture, and it is F-R-E-A-K-Y!!!

I can't wait to puke!

There is only one situation I've ever been in where I said, "I can't wait to puke." Migraine. It's like there's a little elf wearing stiletto heals practicing javelin throwing running around in your brain. And, inevitably, the only way to relieve the pain is to puke your guts out. Why am I talking about puking? Well, yesterday was Migraine Tuesday.

It started as just some pressure behind my eye...hmmm...weird but no big deal. Then within 2 hours those maniacal little elves were having a full on track and field meet in my brain. So I decided to go home early from work. I just make it to my designated parking spot at my complex and promptly jump out of my car and hurl all over the hedges lining our parking lot. Thank God everybody was at work cuz oh the shame. So I drag my bum into the house, up the stairs and open my bedroom door. My little Jasper comes wiggling his way to me unable to contain himself. And, of course, the day when I do not need any more extra complications, Jasper had pooed on the carpet between the door and my bed and in his excitement tromped all in it.

CRAP (literally and expletively)!!

So I scoop him up and clean his little paws. Thinking I got it all, I drop him on my bed...boy was I wrong. Unbeknownst to me, there were little poo paws (now my dog's nickname) all over my quilt and my sheets. To top it off I banged my heel on the bed and took a chunk of skin off. So now I'm bleeding (but didn't know it) and my dog is poo-pawing all over my bed. Finally, I look down and see the mess. If I didn't have such a huge migraine...well lets just say my giving-up-cussing-for-lent pledge would've brought some major fire and brimstone. So now I grab little poo paws and dump him in the bathtub and make sure I get every little spec, change my bed, change my clothes (cuz there's a little poo from picking up my dog and a little puke from outside on my shirt) dump it all in the washer, curl up in bed and sleep like the dead for about 8 hours. After which, I hose down the bushes and parking lot and go get some dinner cuz after that laugh fest, I'm starving.

The best day ever..oh yeah.

There he is, hiding the offending paws in shame.

Little Peanut

Ok, I know I said that I don't feel the need to have children yet but Little Peanut is such a gorgeous fellow that he almost changes my mind for me...almost.

Duane Who?

The other day I said that I miss Duane Reade. A friend replied "Duane who?" For those of you who have been to New York City you know who Duane Reade is, or rather what Duane Reade is. Now, let me put it into context. I was basically moaning and groaning about missing the Big Apple itself, not really the pharmacy Duane Reade which is on almost every other corner in Manhattan. Mind you, I only spent a week there but I fell instantly in love. I mean any city that can get this die-hard L.A. driver up and walking the streets has to be a fantastic city. I loved almost everything about it. The jam-packed-ness of it, the height of it, the history of it, the glamour of it...almost all of it.

I miss the subway, and the nut/ pretzel vendors near central park. Those nuts are awesome!!! I miss checking out the diverse architecture, not to mention the diverse cultures. I miss Filene's Basement and Century 21 and The Pearl River Mart. I miss that you can get a bagel every 1/2 a block and the hot dogs and mango drink at Gray's Papaya, and the cupcakes (ok, mostly just the frosting cuz I'm a frosting junkie) at Magnolia Bakery, and I especially miss the hot chocolate at City Bakery on 18th. And, strangely enough, I miss the funny names on the train up the Hudson River line (Spuyten Duyvil?!?!).

Ah well, one day I'll make it back but until then, I'll just have to get my pharmaceuticals at SoCal's version of Duane Reade...CVS or Walgreens.

Throughout my visit there was just something that nagged at the back of my mind but I couldn't put a finger on it until we were on the flight home. Manhattan is for skinny people. I'm not talking about the fact that it's our country's fashion mecca and style capital. And I'm not speaking out of resentment towards thin women or any such emotion I'm being completely objective. I have a genuine theory that Manhattan doesn't allow a large number of large people simply because there is no room for them. Many of the restaurants and cafes are narrow little storefronts where the average space between tables (side to side) is about 12" and about 2 1/2' (front to back). This just doesn't allow for anyone of considerable girth, therefore, over time they're being weeded out so all that will be left are the skinnies. The very nature of the island - being so crowded and jam packed - demands that its inhabitants fit within its borders comfortably.

Happy Leap Day!!

Happy February 29th Everybody, especially to Tony, whose birthday is today.

Love ya!

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Ok, so this isn't the best picture but it's the best I could do without actually getting out of my car (these shoes are killing my feet) while waiting for my sister to come home. Why am I waiting in my car instead of in the house, you ask...well that would be because I left my keys in the house. But it was such a nice day that I couldn't resist snapping that picture with my little camera phone. Anyway, happy Thursday.

Girl Scout Cookies Have Come...And Gone!

Girl Scout cookies have arrived. I only ordered 2 boxes this year. One Lemon Chalet Creme and one Chocolate Chip. I got the them this morning and have already polished off one whole box. I couldn't seem to stop eating them. I'm pretty sure those crafty little scouts put some kind of addictive drug in them. Little Girl Scout Oompa Loompas in some cookie factory somewhere are giggling away knowing that I've eaten that whole darn box. Mean little girloompas!!

Here's my completely empty box that I ate all by myself.

See that glob of lemony goodness? I considered licking it off but I do have some self control (plus I didn't want anyone to catch me doing it).

Can hiccups give you toned abs?

I don't get the hiccups. In fact, I literally can't remember how long it's been since I had them. I'm thinking it was sometime in the 6th grade (I'm 34 now) but for sure not in High School and none since.

Until today.

At 3:58 I had my first one and at 4:19 I had my last. I have forgotten how painful they can be. I also thought God might be getting a bit of a chuckle, and, after all my laughing at friends who get hiccups decided I was going to end up like those people you see on TV that have had hiccups for 16 years nonstop, then one day I'll be going about my business and Oprah or Ellen will call and be like, "So, you've had hiccups for 16 years, tell us what that's like." and I at my most eloquent will say something like, "it sucks". I'll never be able to show my face in public because of the embarassment of saying "it sucks" on tv.

But, alas, they only lasted for 21 minutes.

WHEN WILL IT END?

I went for my root canal today and as far as pain during the procedure goes, it was a breeze compare to those two fillings. Afterwards was a different story but still tolerable (plus they gave me all these groovy drugs, maaaan). The unbearable part is that I have to go back for more next week then still have another 2, count them TWO, more appointments after that for the crown fitting and putting-on. I'm even more convinced that dentists are an invention of the devil! Just when you think you're done, they pull you back in!! Evil, evil people. Swollen...sore...and $300 broker...I'm plotting my revenge, or I will be once I deflate and the vicodin wears off.

The Pain Is Coming

Tomorrow is my root canal...please pray for me!!

Ugh Taxtime

In past years I've relished doing my taxes because a) I can do them myself on the EZ forms since I have no complications to my life and 2) I usually get a nice sized refund. This year, however, I'm dreading it completely! I claimed exempt (this means no taxes were taken out of my paychecks at all) for a big chunk of the year so now I'm feeling the wrath of the IRS. And it hurts! Sorta like in the Wrath of Khan where that bug thing crawls into Checkov's ear...that's how much it hurts - with the bleeding and the gnashing of teeth, etc. (ok, yes, I've watched a few Star Trek movies in my time, this does not make me a Trekkie (live long and prosper)).

I'm now having to actually pay the IRS even more of my hard earned money...it's bad enough that they take almost 20% of everything, now they want more. I do realize that in the grand scheme of life here on earth my minor tax glitch is unimportant, but gosh darnit, it pisses me off!

I think I'll go live in a commune. They don't pay taxes do they?

I Know Where The Angles Live

Ok, they're not really angels but the AAA is definitely heaven sent. I was over due on renewing my registration which would normally evoke a huge basket of negative feelings and emotions. Mostly because this would mean actually going into the DMV instead of mailing in my renewal. However, God, in his infinite wisdom and enduring kindness has decreed that there be an organization where you can go and avoid the depression inducing flourescent lighting and beige walls of the dreaded DMV. This organization is called the Automobile Association of America (I'm pretty sure that's what the 3 A's stand for). There you can renew your registration while, if there is a line, amongst very informative and inspiring travel books and brochures. You can actually plan your next vacation instead of planning your quickest escape route. It's amazing!!

Those kind people at the AAA are definitely doing God's work.

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody! These are the cupcakes I decided to make for my co-workers. I'm not sure why the candy heart says goodbye...I probably should have read it before I put it on a cupcake but oh well. The frosting is just regular store bought vanilla but mix a little raspberry jam with it and shabam you got yourself a tasty treat. (I wanted to eat it like soup)

Have a good v-day!!

Dentists are from the devil!!!

Yesterday I went in to the dentist to have a cavity filled, ok, it was 2 cavities...I love my sugar. So she shoots me with the big ass needle and my cheek and tongue start to tingle. She asks me if I'm numb...nope but I'm tingly. So she waits a few more minutes and asks again...nope but getting there. She decides this requires more needle work...what the hell?! Why not just wait a couple more minutes till it takes full effect? But no, she pulls out that needle again and goes to work. finally I'm feeling numb and she and her assistant get down to business.

First they drill on one cavity...fine, no trauma there. Then, they start drilling on the second cavity...what was that? Did I just feel a twinge of ....STOP!!!! Oh my garsh!!! Instant agony!! She stops, pulls out countless instruments from my mouth and I tell her...UMMMM...I felt that, should I be feeling that? She tells me no and again pulls out her best friend, Mr. Needle. She immediately goes back to work on the first cavity, the one that is blessedly numb. She finishes up that filling and moves on to the other one. Drill, Drill Drill....dear God in Heaven!!! I still feel that demon drill!!! I tell her this and she asks, "Is it bearable because I'm almost done?" Well, lets see, can I sit here blithely while this torture master is drilling a hole in my head without the full effects of the novocaine? Sure, why the hell not. So she continues. when she's finished drilling she has to do ten other things that cause "discomfort".

Finally, she's all finished and I have to go on to my cleaning appointment with Debbie, who I am also convinced is in league with Lucifer. Luckily, by this time I'm so numb that even my ear and temple are numb so I don't really feel what she's doing to me. I was numb until about 8:30 at night (my appointment was at 2:30) and then was pretty much asleep by 9:30...dealing with the devil's minions takes alot out of you...so I didn't really feel anything last night. This morning, however, is a different story. The tooth they worked on is fine...no pain at all. The spot where she shot me multiple times is so sore that it hurts to open my jaw to yawn or take a bite of anything. Lovely. So, now, I'm not only sore, I'm hungry and a little pissed off.

Don't worry though, I've decided that the minions will get their comeuppance. Somehow, someway, they will get theirs.

Babies Babies Everywhere!!

I’m surrounded by babies!!! My friends and I are at the age when babies start popping out like gumballs from a gumball machine. Every time I turn around someone else is pregnant. While I’m all for propagating the species, I just don’t seem to have the gene that says “Hey there lady, tick tock tick tock, get yourself knocked up already!!” I have the opposite gene, the one that says “Babies?! We don’t need no stinkin’ babies!!!” Don’t get me wrong…I love babies and children in general, I ooh and ahh over them as much as the next woman. In fact, I love acting as interim aunt or babysitter while in my friends’ company but that doesn’t mean I gotta have one of my own.

So, here’s the run down. In the last 2 years there have been 8 babies born within my circle of friends and/or co-workers. That seems like a lot to me…maybe because heretofore (I love that word) there have been none.
I dunno, maybe one day I’ll wake up and all of a sudden need to have one of my own and will rush out and make an appointment at the nearest sperm bank (beats trolling the bars for “donors”). But until that day comes I’m a most willing babysitter.

This is April with little W. Whom I refer to as little peanut.

The Heart of a Lion

My dog is afraid of plastic grocery bags. I've often thought he must have had a traumatic experience with one as a pup but, truth be told, my dog is just a big old wimp. He's afraid of anything that might move suddenly even though he's the one making it move. So if he starts playing with something that's lighter than his tennis balls he jumps. The poor little guy is deathly afraid of cat toys. He's afraid of the sound labels make when they're torn off of something. He runs everytime I open a new cd or dvd. On the Fourth of July and New Years, he's an absolute basket case.

I am eternally grateful, however, that he runs and hides in any small crack or crevice instead of barking like a crazy dog. Now, get him around other dogs and he doesn't act afraid. He doesn't socialize but at least he doesn't cower...cuz he's macho like that.